Bobby Joe Thorazine: Editorials For The Apathetic

So Long

Well, folks, hate to say it but, that's it. I'm history. I tried to tell my boss that I thought someone was stealing information from the office and she accused me of loosing it...then she fired me. Everyone on our floor agrees she's a loon so, maybe HR will reassign me, in which case, I'll be back. If not...it's been real.

I'd like to thank Rosietulips for being the first to leave me a comment.

I'd like to thank Grrlpink for being my best and most trusted friend here.

I'd like to thank Eka for being my favorite and for making me laugh.

I'd like to thank Billlyryan for simply being the best and wish her luck in Australia.

I'd like to thank Angie Kruger for assuring that there was always someone on line to talk to.

I'd like to thank Irishred for being the voice of reason.

I'd like to thank JT for the story.

...There are others and you know who your are. I'm just running out of time. I gotta go. Do me one last favor and vote for me on featured blog. Be good to each other folks. It's been great. Hopefully I'll see you again soon.

Why Are All the Ass Clowns In Charge?

     Good morning, Folks. Well, leave it to my supervisor to ruin all the stress management I accomplished this weekend. I hate to say it but, you may loose me very soon. I am putting in for a transfer a.s.a.p. and I don’t know what the results will be. I just can’t work with this incompetent bitch any longer. I’m tired of taking the blame for her failures.

     There’s also the possibility that I may get fired. If that happens I will have no other choice but to take the university to court. I really hope it doesn’t come to that but, if experience has taught me anything in the last three years it’s that it is counter productive to turn the other cheek. No matter what, I have no idea how much longer I will be visiting tBlog on a daily basis and I know that if my departure does happen, I will miss you all terribly.

     Of course, there’s always the possibility I’ll get exactly what I want and be moved to a better job in a better office. If that happens then I may have even more time to devote to you. I may also have less but still be able to post something fairly regularly. We’ll see.

     Wish me luck.

A Little Beginning Of The Week Music

     Hello, everyone. I hope your weekend was as pleasant as mine. Short but, pleasant.

     I’ve been considering the idea of devoting each day to a specific topic. I’ve decided to start by doing something that may turn out to be dumb, because if people who know me read it, they’ll recognize me in heart beat. Regardless, I’m gonna post some of my lyrics on Mondays and try and get some feedback. Also, it may be an inexpensive way of assuring some form of copy write.

     This one is a pretty basic rock-a-billy tune in the key of B and it’s one of my favorites. It’s pretty rapid fire, it’s got three short, bad-ass guitar solos in it and it always gets a good reaction no matter who’s in the crowd.  It’s called Broken Man.

CHORUS

I’m a Broken Man from the center from my heart to my soul

From my head to my feet to my flesh to my bone

I don’t know what I need; don’t think I can go on

My hearts gone from hurtin’, to feeling nothing at all

I’m a broken man and homeless come last call

My Daddy died, my Momma moved off

All my friends told me to get lost

The “next best thing” I ran into

Was the last thing I ran across

But she stole my heart and tore it apart

Without even givein’ a try

And now all I feel is

Completely dead inside

CHORUS

SOLO

My lady friend said “This is the end.

Get out now and take your shit.”

My landlord kicked me out

After I lost my job again

Now I can’t get out of bed or get to sleep

There ain’t a whole lot that’s left for me

And as they tow my car the heart attack begins

CHORUS

SOLO

BRIDGE

My dog got hit by a Cadillac

I went to jail when they found my sack

And now I’m down to my last dime

If it weren’t for bad luck

I’d have no luck at all

I’ve lost everything and there goes my mind

SOLO

CHORUS x2

Art Masks

   I know it sounds trite but, T.G.I.F. That being said, let’s talk about the identity of an artist today.

     I have always had a fascination with image oriented rock n’ roll. David Bowie, Motley Crue, the Damned, Marilyn Manson etc. These also seem to be musicians who re-define themselves periodically. There is an allure to this because they have the ability to step outside themselves. No matter how much Nikki Sixx and Manson say, “This is real. This is who I am.” I know that that’s not entirely true. Nobody comes out of the womb wearing make up and platform boots. It’s a chosen persona and it gives them the ability to step outside themselves, or perhaps deeper into themselves, in order to express feelings and ideas. I like that.

     See, as an artist I started as an actor. I started at age six and I became very good. Actually, I became great. I’m a decent musician, a pretty good song writer and a pretty good writer but, I am (or at least was) a phenomenal actor. I did it professionally for a while but personal problems and artistic differences led me away from the craft. I decided to focus on my music more for one simple reason. When musicians decide to act or write or whatever they are respected and taken seriously. When an actor cuts an album it’s always treated as a joke. I wanted to be able to do everything and I wanted it all so that I could be whoever I wanted. That’s part of the beauty of being Bobby Joe Thorazine is that I can put on any face I choose. Ironically, I’m more myself here than anywhere else.

     Regardless, there are a variety of personalities and missions inside of me that all have a need to get out. I can be the Eric Forman type that I appear at first glance but, I can also display dark and disturbing leanings at the drop of a hat. Part of it is because one day I realized that if I looked at someone just the right way, they got scared and would stop fucking with the innocent kid I started as. Part of it is because that innocent kid got fucked with so much that he began to become dark and disturbed.

     I do like the option of being different people. Different people have different lives and receive different benefits. Incorporating them all into the blue print of who I am makes it all legitimate. The bad part is that external influences begin to draw out different reactions and the personalities inside me start to wage war for control of the skin. The Eric Forman in me doesn’t want the Hannibal Lector to come out and ruin his reputation but the Hannibal Lector doesn’t want the Eric Forman to be hurt. Regardless, they war. As an artist I can allow them to commune together and dine. The results are often interesting and enlightening. The day to day management however, is scary.

     I believe very strongly in destiny and I know in my heart I was put on this planet to create art. That is my function. That I am not always allowed to or acknowledged for it is the most frustrating thing in the world. It’s more frustrating than my family problems. At my age, developing into a rock star is less and less likely and, honestly, it’s less and less desirable. It may be time for me to make music secondary and pursue acting. Only a select few have noticed my skill as a musician but, everyone noticed my talent as an actor. I’ll just have to get used to others defining my persona for me.

     Well, that’s my self-psychoanalysis for the day. I hope you all have a good weekend. Go out and do something really wild and wicked tomorrow while thinking about me and tell us all a debauched story Monday. Just try and stay out of jail.

Incidental Report

     Forgive me for this folks but Thursday Blog Review will return next week because I woke up feeling like deep fried ass. I was very late for work and may not stay the whole day. I’m hoping it’s yet another side affect of this stupid medication.

     Speaking of the medication and the seizures and the doctors and the massive concern I have received from you all, let me say a few things. First, I deeply appreciate everyone’s concern for my well being. It means a great deal to me. Next, let me answer the questions I keep getting and quell a few fears. Yes, I have seen a doctor. No, I have not gotten a second opinion because doctors won’t comment on each others work these days for legal reasons. Besides I have only been on the stuff for a few weeks and it takes time to see what the full affects of any medication are. The main concern is if it stops the seizures and we won’t know for certain for another week or two. Yes, I am going back to the doctor, next week. That visit was planned even before I got the prescription. No, I do not know what causes the seizures and neither do the doctors. They can’t find anything. However, my uncle, who is very genetically similar to me, has epilepsy which manifested itself in the same ways my problems have. It took the doctors a while to diagnose him because it was buried in the back of his brain.

     Again, thanks for the concern. I’m going to go take a nap in the dark room.

One Appology And A Lot Of Obligatory Nonsense

     Damn. Yesterday produced quite a stir, didn’t it? I have never got so many tmails in one day.

     First and foremost I would like to apologize to everyone, especially Godsmack, for some of my reactions yesterday. I was erratic and hypocritical and asinine. Here I am rapping my chest about how some people get way to emotional about opinions and words and I go and do the exact same thing on the comments page for the same post. Dumb. It’s been a hard few weeks what with this new medication with its weird side affects the limited amount of musical rehearsal I’ve gotten done, the problems with my supervisor and employees, the total lack of social life… Sorry.

     That being said I would like to ask your opinions on topics. Of course I still want to hear about quality blogs to review (I still don’t know who’s getting done tomorrow) but, I would also like to hear some ideas about other features. You see my idea is to select formats for other days of the week as well. As I said yesterday, sex, politics and religion are the “polite company” taboos so that may become the subject matter for one day of the week. Seeing as how I started blogging, in part, for therapy my family may become one day. The cultural posts about fashion, trends and habits always get a huge response so that could be one day. I dunno. What do you think?

     I’d add a little more but, I think I had a seizure this morning and I don’t want to go out on the desk top here. The upside is, if I am having more, it gives me an excuse to sue the tacky green pants off the doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant, dangerous for seizure sufferers, for me because she didn’t know how to listen. Anybody know where I can buy a really big, fancy boat?

French Braiding Horseplay Dog Mess

  Everyone. How are we today? I was looking at my cable bill yesterday and noticed that there was an FCC charge. What the hell is that all about? I’m paying someone to censor my television. Does that mean that if I don’t pay the charge I get porn? Weird country we live in.

     Censorship, in my opinion is not a bad thing. We do, in fact, need it. There are plenty of things out there that shouldn’t be available to just anybody. Say what you want but my sexual development was affected deeply by some things that I gained access to as a kid. Some might even say it messed me up a little. I know I wouldn’t want my daughter to be exposed to all the crap that’s out there with no trouble at all. Hell, there are things that I run across from time to time that I have no interest in seeing. Try searching for child abuse and molestation studies on the net and see if every other site that pops up isn’t some X rated spread of filth, fronted by ads that are every bit as tasteless as the pages they “hide”.

     Despite all that there are limits. Yesterday a brief debate began on tblurt (well, for me it was a debate. For others it may have been an argument) concerning our responsibility to younger visitors. Our language on tblurt may be censured but we find ways around it and many times the topics can become rather lurid. There’s also the posts and what’s included in them, topics and photos that are regularly adult in nature. Should we be concerned about these things? Should Paintedbat worry about children being exposed to Ass Wednesday? Should I be concerned about discussing my orgasms or insatiable ex-girlfriends on here? Should Angiekruger and Irishred be worried about the message that there sometimes torrid, on-line love affair sends?

     It’s an interesting question. Take the nudity, for example. Lindy said yesterday that we should be more careful about this sort of thing because anybody has access to it. I argued that a tasteful picture of a naked woman wasn’t influential or damaging the way graphic sex sites were. She countered with “boobs are boobs are boobs.” Spoken like a true straight girl. Still, her heart was in the right place and she may even have a point. Exposure to tasteful nudity could lead youngsters to investigate harder things. It could affect their sexual development. They might print it off and get caught with it in school, get in trouble, go to detention, be exposed to harsher elements and end up depraved. Say what you want but, sarcastic as it sounds, it could happen. It’s the same with our conversations and topics. Imagine some kid reading our sassing on tblurt and suddenly wondering why JT is asking me for a spanking or what S & M is. He looks it up on the web, sees the first sexually thrilling thing he’s ever run across and the next thing you know he’s an adult who can’t really get turned on unless he’s beating some chic tied to his bed with a garden hose. It could happen.

     So, the big question is: is it our responsibility to worry about it? Are we responsible for everyone else’s little Johnny or Suzi out there? Do we owe them and the rest of the public the courtesy of reining our ideas, conversations and decorations in to protect the innocent? Call me a cynic if you must but, I have to say, no.

     The fact is little Johnny and Suzi are going to be exposed to smut somewhere, sooner or later, unless their own parents exert the responsibility and care needed to supervise their development. It’s not our job to keep these kids away from the dangerous aspects of the net, it’s their parents’. You might say, “But tBlog is free. Anybody can get on here.” Well, so is Family Guy on FOX and I wouldn’t let anyone under 16 watch that show if they were in my care. Graphic porn advertisements are free on the web. It takes the actions of the parent and/or guardians to see that the children are protected when they need it. We’re here because we have a right to assemble and speak. If I want to write a post about the grand mysteries of the clitoris, complete with photos that is my right until Rocky says otherwise. It's a concerned parent’s right and responsibility to shield their children from it.

     Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s exorcizing one’s rights and then there’s just being callous. Earlier today several of us were cutting up on tblurt, making jokes and references to spankings, oral sex, gay and lesbian sex and a number of other things. At one point Angiekruger, who I know is an advocate of free speech and has a filthy mind, pointed out that a thirteen year old had joined us on the page. We may not have had a duty to tone it down but, it was a matter of simple courtesy. Angie simply wanted us to show some manors and, for the most part, we did. That doesn’t tribute censorship, it displays class. Odd to say about me and my fellow tbloggers but, it’s one of the reasons I’m here instead of on Blogger. Deep down we’re all decent people.

     In short, I don’t think there is anything wrong with the things posted here and I believe that we are basically capable of and prone to being, not only colorful, but careful when it’s warranted. Of course, that won’t keep me from talking about butt sex, drugs and taboo ideology on a regular basis. It’s my right as an American citizen. It would be unpatriotic not to exercise it. With that, I’m going to bathroom to jack off onto a bible while a stray dog licks peanut butter from my nut sack. Have a good day, everyone.